Are Plants Appropriate Sympathy Gifts?

Yes. A plant can be a respectful sympathy gift, and for many families it means a great deal because it's still there weeks and months later. It isn't the right choice for every family, though. A plant works best when it goes to the family home, when the recipient can manage a little care, and when their faith or culture welcomes it during mourning.

This guide covers when a plant is a good choice and when it isn't, which plants suit a time of grief, the customs worth checking first, when to send, and what to write. Every plant it mentions is one we deliver across Brisbane from our sympathy plants range.

Why a plant can be the right sympathy gift

The first week after a death is usually full: visitors, phone calls, a funeral to organise. The harder weeks often come later, once everyone has gone home. A plant is still there then, a quiet sign that someone is thinking of them.

Many people find comfort in something living that keeps growing, and some families look after a sympathy plant for years. There's some research behind the idea that plants are good to have around, too. A systematic review of 42 studies found that indoor plants affect people positively, "particularly those of relaxed physiology and enhanced cognition." None of that research looked at grief, so don't send a plant expecting it to help anyone heal. It's simply a calm thing to have in a home during a hard time.

When a plant may not be the right choice

A plant probably isn't the best gift in these situations:

• The person is already overwhelmed. For some people, a plant is one more thing to keep alive when they can barely keep up. If that sounds like your recipient, choose the hardiest plant you can, or send a meal instead.
• The family has asked for donations. Follow their wishes. As Springvale Monash Cemeteries Trust puts it, "The correct etiquette in this case is to follow the wishes of the family."
• It would be going to the funeral. A plant is a gift for the home. We don't deliver to funerals, memorial services, funeral homes, chapels or crematoriums, because we can't deliver at a set time.
• The recipient is in hospital. We don't deliver to hospitals either, because ward rules differ and patients move or go home at short notice. Choose a date for when they're back home.
• Their faith or culture doesn't use plants or flowers in mourning. See below.

Faith and cultural customs

Australian families often blend traditions, so treat these as general conventions, not rules. Springvale Monash Cemeteries Trust advises that with certain faiths, "If you are unsure, it's best to check first." Ask a family member, a mutual friend or the funeral director before you send anything.

Tradition	General custom	A thoughtful alternative
Jewish	Sydney's Emanuel Synagogue notes it is "a Jewish custom not to have flowers at the funeral, in the hearse, at the graveside or in the house of mourning"	A charitable donation in the person's honour, or food during shiva
Muslim	Muslim Funeral Services notes that decorating the coffin with flowers is not customary, though some families place flowers on the grave	Check with the family first. Food and donations are the safer choice
Hindu	The Australian Council of Hindu Clergy says those attending a funeral "should not bring flowers or anything else with them"	Food for the mourning period, since the Council notes cooking shouldn't be done in the house during that time
Chinese and Buddhist	White is associated with mourning, and red with celebration	A green and white plant, such as a peace lily or aglaonema
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander	Customs vary widely between communities	Ask the family what they would like

For most Christian and non-religious families in Australia, a plant sent to the home is entirely appropriate.

Plants that suit a sympathy gift

The best sympathy plants are calm in colour, easy to care for, and forgiving if they're forgotten for a week or two.

Peace lily

The peace lily is the classic sympathy plant, with white spathes held above deep green leaves. It's also one of the easiest plants to read: the leaves droop when it's thirsty and stand back up within a few hours of a drink, which helps when the recipient isn't a confident plant carer.

Our peace lily range has three. Rocco is the compact one, with deep glossy leaves in a tight upright clump. Platinum Mist has soft silver and cream variegation across darker green, so it looks lovely between flowers. Jessica completes the range.

Aglaonema White Tip

For a darker living room, the Aglaonema White Tip has broad green leaves with a pale wash that runs out to the edge, and it keeps that pattern in lower light. Its quiet colouring suits a family that would rather have green and white than anything bright.

Pothos

Green Gold pothos is one of the hardest plants to kill. It trails from a shelf, grows quickly and droops visibly when it needs water, which makes it a safe choice for someone who has never kept a plant. It also grows easily from cuttings, so family members can share pieces of the same plant.

If there's a pet in the home

Many grieving people lean on their pets, so check before you send. Peace lilies aren't true lilies, but they still aren't pet-safe. The ASPCA lists the peace lily as toxic to dogs and cats, and RSPCA NSW includes it in its list of lilies toxic to cats. Pothos and aglaonema can make pets unwell too.

If the household has a cat or dog, or you're not sure, choose from our pet-friendly plants instead. The ASPCA lists calathea and peperomia obtusifolia as non-toxic to both. A calathea's leaves fold up each evening and open again in the morning, which many people find a comforting ritual.

When to send a sympathy plant

There's no deadline on sympathy. As a rough guide:

• In the first few days, a card or a short message is often enough.
• One to two weeks after the funeral is a good time for a plant. Visitors have thinned out, and it shows people are still thinking of them.
• A month or more later is often appreciated most of all, once everything has gone back to something like normal.
• Hard dates such as the first birthday, anniversary or Christmas without them. A plant on one of those days tells someone you remembered.

You can choose a delivery date up to six weeks ahead, so a plant timed for later doesn't have to be left to memory.

What to write

Keep it short and sincere. You don't need to explain the plant. You can type your message into the gift-message field, or add a greeting card on the product page. A few examples:

• "Thinking of you and your family. We hope this brings some calm to your home."
• "With love. Something green to remember [name] by."
• "No need to reply. We're thinking of you, today and in the weeks ahead."
• For a colleague: "From all of us at [team]. Take all the time you need."

Sending a sympathy plant in Brisbane

We deliver with our own couriers to selected Brisbane suburbs, for a flat $19.95. Order before 12pm on a weekday or 10am on Saturday for same-day delivery. Our couriers head out in the early afternoon, and homes are delivered by 6pm. There's no delivery on Sundays or public holidays.

A few things help with a sympathy delivery:

• Include the recipient's mobile number. Our driver calls it on arrival, and grieving households are often out at appointments.
• Think about their workplace. If they've gone back to work, an office delivery is often easier than an empty doorstep, especially in summer heat.
• Check for pets. If there's a pet at the address and nowhere out of its reach to leave the plant, our driver brings it back to us.

Check the suburb list on our delivery page before you order. When you're ready, our sympathy plant gifts are chosen with all of this in mind.

If you or someone you know needs support with grief, Griefline offers free phone support on 1300 845 745, weekdays from 10am to 8pm AEST.